Illmotion-me: Good Luck to me

October 8, 2008 — LimeGemini

Last night was my roughly struggled night. I can’t sleep well because when ever i lay down the bed, it felt like I’m losing air to breath. I was on my bed, curling up my knees to my chest, crying, thinking about what should i do. Because aside from having hard time to breath i was also feeling cold, and having fever.

I can’t stop my tears from keeping falling down my cheeks. I was crying because i really don’t know what to do. I don’t know what medicine should i take. I was thinking about what other remedies that i could do just have a good night sleep. Until i remember my mom that used to take care of me when i had severly asthma. My mom was always there 24/7 to monitor my progression. Where i always feel my mom’s love when she is taking care of me. Unlike my dad he told me earlier that night that if I am sick don’t live long, just die. I was thinking was he really concern of me? Then i talked back to him,

” sure i will be dead before you knew it and if i die, just pay my coffin, and don’t cry on my burial“. Read the rest of this entry »

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Blurpy mind 101

March 29, 2008 — LimeGemini

Another day of loneliness. Another moment that passes by without any special agenda. It is hard to explain the content of my life. Boring as it is, unworthy as it seem but what are the values of this living body, this person that I call myself.

Hundreds and thousands of mysterious thoughts that comes over and over in my mind. Different categories and criteria that I admit are the differences of life this world. The aims and goals that I like to do to myself and those things that I think are suppose to be in my future has to have its own start to make it move forward.

Whatever path I choose, I still have to stand on my own feet. Walk forward and never turn back. Forget about regret and dismay that I may incounter as my journey of life begins. The obstacles of life does not recuire help from others because the best success is from my own percevirance. Only myself could help me reach the star of my admiration in life. My effort in which I put in chasing my dream will have its worth if I set my feet on the ground and never elope from my life crazy situation.

I will not surrender in the battle of life and the journey that I am taking right now. I have to survive in this crazy mist that covers my way in my ambition. I have been so secluded from others yet that will never turn me down. Tomorrow is a brighter day and after that tomorrow there is still another brighter day that follows. I can’t stop right now. I just can’t.

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Sweetest Mistake

June 30, 2007 — LimeGemini

First time in your life you have experience that you are deeply in love. Knowing that he cannot take you for granted because he feels the same way too. You almost give everything to him and trust him with all your life. You put him first in each commotion you are dealing with even though it interferes with you and some acquaintances in your life. You never been so selfish, so unsure, and unrealistic in every approach you have given to him. You set everything to be a good friend and somewhat a partner whom you can call your love. It was a freely experience that having him gives you joy in a simple way. Could not believe that what you never expected will come in its way.

It was all a sudden mistakenly believed that he was yours and him thinking he has no chance to be with you. For the whole time both accepts love from each other. However, that love is not a love that you can brag about. It is the love, which is pure and was out to its fullness yet cannot be screamed. Only the two of you knows the real deal of your affection. Friends in which you have a good relation have an idea what you both are heading.

All night you felt you are full of care, love, cherish and certain. Baring the fruit of affection in your heart with no doubts and burden upon to those who are around you. Each sleepless night came to its real goal- full hearted and serenity that is liable to make its post, and the assurance for the time that you have waited for.

Days passed and time gone so quickly. The sanctuary that you have before was now an unsure of. All things had altered from small to the greatest, from friendship to love, from ice to fire. The standpoint of life that we are exchange with will never intends us to use its course. Many will say that love is love and can be changed. But what I feel is what put pain inside of me. Of all happiness I felt then was all pain I was long-suffering at this moment. I can barely imagine that this will fall out into my false proclamation. I am in love. The more I am into it; the more ripping builds in my heart. Painful mischief and reluctant happiness is building into my entity.

Yeah I love you for who you are. I love you for what you have. I love you because you are my strength. I love you because you build something inside of me which that makes me a real me. I love you not for what people say. I love you I love you. I really just love you and that what I know for sure. God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces.”

“The Lord is near the broken-hearted; he is the saviour of those whose spirits are crushed down-Psalm 34:18″

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