My eyes are hurt, and it is so puffy. It is my dad’s fault of why my eyes are like this. Pina iyak nya ako! Ng argue kami kanina and it’s all about the money I sent my mom for my little sister’s tuition.
He told me that I hurt him raw. Kasi di nga raw kami gumagastos sa bahay then we send money pa in the philippines. Tumutulong nga lng raw kami sa mommy namin pero di raw sa kanya. Eh, ngtaasan na ng boses, I let him finish his issue, and paulit ulit na lang niya sinasabi na hurt sya sa ginawa ko. Jealous na jealous sya na isang salita lng ng mom ko raw, bumibigay na ako. Eh ako na man, umiiyak from holding my anger and voice. Every time my dad pops up a word. I really wanted to interfer him and speak for my behalf. He also added that my mom’s family can sustain the needs of my little sister. I was just thinking “what about me, am I not my mom’s family? Eh anak nya ako and I’m the oldest.” Sabi nya pa, hindi ko raw responsibilidad na mg padala ng pera. Pero “can I just ignore my mom when I know that they need it badly?” I don’t want to be a bad daughter, especialy in my situation right now that both have their own seperate lives. Was it my fault that I was born in this crazy situation. “Hindi!” I didn’t intend to choose on what side I will support. Because I will support no one but myself.
Nang natapos sya sa kadadakdadk. sabi ko sa kanay…
“Di nga kami gumagastos sa loob ng bahay. Pero wasn’t it enough pa ba ung mga treats na binibigay namin sa inyo? Kahit di nga kami ngbibigay ng pera pang tulong sa gastosin sa bahay, eh kahit papaano we also pay the restaurant bills, the tips, and we even quality time we spent when ever we have time to bond with the family. Wasn’t it enough, yet? Eh sa mom ko which is in the philippines, I can’t give her quality time coz malayo ako sa kanya, tulong sa gastusin nila doon is the only way I could do in not ignoring my mom. One thing, I even started to pay my own school tuition because nahihiya na ako sa inyo na kayo pa ang ng babayad kahit alam ko na marami na kayong binabayaran. That’s why I take that responsibility. Even it is hard to go to school and work at he same time, I try to handle it. Even sometimes I just want to stay home and have a family bonding yet I have to work so that I could pay my tuition. Inaako ko na nga ung responsibilidad sa aking sarili regarding finance that I have.”
I really thought that he sees what I am doing to compensiate him. Na tumutulong rin ako. That I don’t have any favoritism between my parents. Eto nga I am planning pa nga to buy a full spa gift certificate for his birthday and for this coming fathers day. What do you think, am I a bad daughter?
